A great article from “Asking for what you want” expert Marcia Baczynski.
Also great summary as to why you should read this: “We all know – or should know – that consent is mandatory. We know enthusiastic consent is what we are working towards. But how does enthusiastic consent look and sound like? What *can* it sound like?
Asking if something is okay, while better than not asking at all, may get repetitive, and like this article says, it’s kind of a low standard to strive for (we don’t want sex to be a mediocre “okay”, now, do we?).
This article discusses some alternatives, grouped into three types of questions. The first step is knowing what you want to know, which can be hard. The more specific the question, the more specific the answer – which can be useful.
I would add to this that maybe the first step in enthusiastic consent is asking ourselves these and other questions, which can help us be more present in our bodies and with our partners.” ~ Lui Ramirez, sexuality educator